At the time, I realized that I had been running from my true self for most of my life. I was conforming to what 'everyone else' wanted me to be. I defined myself by the labels I very willingly and unconsciously fell victim to. I was the wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, nurse, green eyed brunette, overly sensitive, emotional woman. I had completely forgotten who I was...who I innately was. Yes, part of my duties on this earth are to fulfill the expectations that come along with all those labels but I didn't want to be defined as those labels. Through all the expectations and masks that came along with those labels, I had forgotten that I am a soul. A living, breathing, emotion filled, unconditionally loving soul.
This realization hit me hard and fast and most certainly took me by surprise. I found that I was having difficulty managing this life and its duties, restrictions, and expectations. I had this overwhelming urge to break free from the chains I had placed myself in but knew my labels were, after all, a part of the life I was living. I in no way wanted to give up any of those choices or experiences, memories, and people they contained, I just needed to find a way to balance the two. To live in harmony with my soul and my 'self,' to be happy with being here and to fully accept my journey and all that came with it.
I read a book called Skinny White Woman that opened my eyes and most definitely changed my perspective about this life, our life's purpose and how each of our unique journeys are infinitely crucial. As Stasia explains it, "This is a self-reflective memoir about what it means to follow a modern-day spiritual path, Skinny White Woman is a raw and unrefined look at the human journey to find the spirit within." Please check it out. I promise, you won't be disappointed!
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