Another (little) change

I have transferred this blog...You can find my new posts and follow them here:

 http://loveisamagicray.wordpress.com/

Words Become Powerless to Express Your Pain

I usually find comfort in writing and for as long as I can remember journaling has always been an enjoyable, and almost necessary, daily activity. It's been twenty-one days since my brother died and, until today, I haven't written one word about his death. My heart is too laden with grief and I am too emotionally and physically exhausted to try to sort out the almost constant flood of emotions that are coursing through my veins. My pain, grief, and love are all too intense for me to define so, for now, sharing this poem by John O' Donohue is the best I can do. This is the first time, in a very long while, that I am allowing another to speak for me. His words explain it all so perfectly during a time when I just can't...

When you lose someone you love,

Your life becomes strange,

The ground beneath you becomes fragile,

Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;

And some dead echo drags your voice down

Where words have no confidence

Your heart has grown heavy with loss;

And though this loss has wounded others too,

No one knows what has been taken from you

When the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret

For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;

Again inside the fullness of life,

Until the moment breaks

And you are thrown back

Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,

You are able to function well

Until in the middle of work or encounter,

Suddenly with no warning,

You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.

All you can depend on now is that

Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.

More than you, it knows its way

And will find the right time

To pull and pull the rope of grief

Until that coiled hill of tears

Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance

With the invisible form of your departed;

And when the work of grief is done,

The wound of loss will heal

And you will have learned

To wean your eyes

From that gap in the air

And be able to enter the hearth

In your soul where your loved one

Has awaited your return

All the time.

Benedictus: A Book of Blessings

- John O' Donohue